Denzel Washington

Denzel Washington

By DNA Smith
“The Book of Eli” (R) — This is the Hughes Brothers directorial foray into the post-Apocalyptic future genre. On the plus side: A wicked intense Denzel Washington. On the downside: No Thunderdome. Washington stars as the titular Eli, a man in possession of a book that supposedly will rescue humanity from the devastation of the recent apocalypse. He heads west along the Highway of Death, opening cans of whoop-ass on any malcontents along the way. Eventually, he ends up in a town where a corrupt and evil bar owner (Gary Oldman) decides he will do whatever it takes to gain possession of Eli’s book.

“The Book of Eli” is a pretty good picture. It’s not awesome, but it doesn’t stink either. While it doesn’t have Tina Turner with big hair, the film does have Mila Kunis. And I’m fine with that.

“The Stepfather” [Blu Ray] (R) — If you thought Terry O’Quinn’s portrayal of John Locke in “Lost” was creepy, wait until you see him with hair! “The Stepfather” is the cult 1987 thriller about a guy named Jerry Blake (O’Quinn), who longs for the perfect idyllic suburban life — beautiful wife, family, white picket fence, the whole shebang. He marries Shelly Hack and becomes stepfather to her 16-year-old daughter. The daughter suspects that Jerry’s Ward Cleaver persona masks something more sinister and dangerous. And she’s right. If you’re looking for a thriller that’ll chill you to the bone, you have got see this movie.

“When In Rome” (PG-13) — Kristen Bell stars in this ridiculous chick flick about a frantic, career obsessed woman who goes to Italy for her sister’s wedding, and like every driven, ambitious woman in movies like this, she realizes that her goals and successes are meaningless because she doesn’t have a man. Excuse me while I pause for three minutes to make pffffffrt sounds with my armpit.

So she goes to The Fountain of Love and steals five coins, as you do. But wait! These aren’t just any coins. No Sirree! These are Magical Coins that summon the lovelorn men who tossed them into the fountain, and put a love spell on them, making those poor saps infatuated with Veronica Mars. Now she has to find a way to break the spells, because all the guys are kinda gross or weird — except for the Hot Guy you see next to her in the movie poster. Is his love for her real? When she breaks the spell on him, will he be The One — The Big Boy who will define her life? Pffffffrt.

“Family Guy” Vol. 8
“MacGyver: The TV Movies”
“American Dad” Vol. 5
“Johnny Bravo” Season One
“Leave it to Beaver” Season Three
“Secret Life of the American Teenager” Volume Four
“Sanctuary” The Complete Second Season
“Here’s Lucy” Season Three
“Everwood” The Complete Third Season
“My Three Sons” Season Two, Vol. 2

© 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.