Couch Theater May 10th

By DNA Smith




“Taken” — Written and produced by Luc Besson (“The Professional,” “La Femme Nikita,” “The Transporter”), “Taken” is a fast-paced adventure thriller. Liam Neeson stars as Bryan Mills, an ex-CIA operative who has given up a life of danger and intrigue in order to spend more time with his family. Things go higgledy-piggledy, however, when his teenage daughter is kidnapped by white slavers, and Mills is thrust into the mission of his life — finding and rescuing his little girl. If “Taken” were made 20 years ago, it probably would have starred Harrison Ford (“Gimmie Back My Daughter!”).


The action scenes are well-done, and thanks to Neeson’s superb acting chops, what could have been a series of laughable plot holes and situations are made believable. Although the film isn’t at the same level of quality as, say, “Casino Royale” or the “Bourne” movies, “Taken” is well worth a look.




“Underworld: Rise of the Lycans” — Whoof! What is that SMELL? Oh, it’s just “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans,” the third (and sadly probably not the last) in this series of movies depicting the centuries-old feud between vampires and werewolves. For hundreds of years, the Lycans (werewolves) have been oppressed by the vampires, who are ruled by Viktor (Bill Nighy). But a deliverer named Lucian (Michael Sheen) has rallied the werewolves to take on Vicktor and his fetish-leathered crew.


Helping Lucian is a vampire named Sonja (Rhona Mitra), so what could’ve been an awesome flick about vampires and werewolves stomping the bejabbers out of each other instead gets bogged down by a lame story about Forbidden Love. And I do mean bogged down. The characters spend waaayyy too much time yapping and not enough time whomping. Seriously. Avoid this movie. It’s boring and tedious and awful and will give you lupus.




“Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy”


“Penn and Teller Bullsh*t” Complete Sixth Season


“French and Saunders: Live”


“The Dana Carvey Show”


“Two and a Half Men” The Complete Fifth Season


“Lovejoy” The Complete Season Five


“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Season 7


“Case Closed” Season Five Set


“Pie in the Sky” Series 1


“The Jeff Foxworthy Show” The Complete Second Season


© 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.